Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Randomize
