Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Randomize
