It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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