I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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