I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
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