i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Randomize
