I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
pop tarts are not kleenex
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
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