rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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