I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
they need to just BURY HIM!
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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