He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
