i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
