Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
