I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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