My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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