Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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