She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
