I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
