but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
