I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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