I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.