New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌