i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.