I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
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beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
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So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox