You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.