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• (757): View more from Virginia

  Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?

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• (352): View more from Florida

  i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?

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• (858): View more from California

  I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha

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  25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (254): View more from Texas

  Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  You're just horny.

  (1-401): View more from Rhode Island

  Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke

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• (778): View more from British Columbia

  On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?

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  21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night

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• (209): View more from California

  I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!

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• (315): View more from New York

  HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA

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• (206): View more from Washington

  BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*

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