I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I fill condoms, not promises.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.