If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
