Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
