Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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