Only a mothe r could love this liver
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
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Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
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I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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