i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Even my vagina gasped.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
