next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
