What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
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JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
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Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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