I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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