I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
