Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
