is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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