No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
