Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
