Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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