I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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