Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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