Fine. I'll sleep in my office
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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