chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize