Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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