I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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