So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
