yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Boobs speak an international language.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
