Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize