he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize