dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
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I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
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And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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