honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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