New invention idea: vibrating tampons
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize