i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
