I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
