I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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