We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
