all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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