Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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