Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize