dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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