I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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