So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
