the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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